Pixel Vixens

Someone made a snarky comment to me recently to imply that I somehow should feel like less of a person because of who I am and the lifestyle I lead. While I can understand this sentiment, I felt like explaining why this is total bullshit.

I do not fit into the typical mold. I haven't ever, although I tried to when I was younger, and was extremely unhappy because of it. I never bought into the American dream, or religion, or abstinence, or any of the other BS that has been peddled to us since we were children. I am honestly a bit of a Hedonist, which usually carries a bit of negative connotation to it. But bottom line, life is short! I want to achieve any kind of happiness and pleasure I can while I'm here, and I want to do so based on my own terms. People of power have always tried to prevent others from participating in any activity that would bring them joy - The government, religion; they all stigmatize pleasure activities, sex is somehow evil, drugs that cause absolutely zero harm and potentially a lot of good are illegal while booze and cigarettes are perfectly fine and continue to kill thousands of people every year. We all have a predetermined ideal which we are to be, and anyone who strays from the norm is looked down upon as if they are the asshole.

I have suffered from both depression and schizophrenia since a very young age, and have been on a good 20 pills over the years to try to regulate myself. I am happy to say I haven't been on any drugs for a good 8 months and feel better than I have ever felt. You know why? Because I am doing things that make me happy and anyone who doesn't like it can go fuck themselves. Nude modeling is supposed to make me feel like less of a person somehow? I am some slut because I love myself, making art, sharing that with other people who love it? It's not and has never been about money, and it's only subtly about sex. Being naked is out natural state, and it's only through religious influences we've been conditioned to thinking our bodies and sex are somehow shameful things. They aren't. Sex is one of the greatest and simplest pleasures on the planet, and as long as you practice safely and with people you trust, then who really cares? I love my friends, and when used correctly, sex can GREATLY strengthen the bonds between you.

But beyond that, modeling has been awesome fun for me. I've gotten to meet so many interesting, wonderful, genuine people (all of you!). I've gotten to explore awesome places I never would have seen otherwise, to discuss politics and philosophy and psychology and religion with people who understand it, are open minded, and aren't just parroting what they have been told since they were children. I've learned, I've grown, I've made and been a part of art. I've gotten to help bring my nerd fantasies to life, and it's not shameful - It's awesome! There is nothing I would rather be doing. If it makes money, that's fine - But honestly almost all the money I've made modeling just goes right back into this site, and I don't even mind. It is it's own reward. How many people can say they do something that they wake up every day and are excited about? I don't know about you, but I don't want my life to revolve around some boring 9-5 job that I hate, waking up every day and doing the same thing and simply surviving. Life is about living. I want to have all the experiences possible while I'm still able. You never know what is going to happen - I make the most of what time I have. And now that I'm being true to myself, I am truly happy, and on zero pills. (Well, I do have my medical marijuana license, and I'll be goddamned if that isn't 100 times better than any manufactured crap they tried pumping into my system).

Now, we will all have a sexy cosplay love-in. It's so nice to be around other people that aren't full of shit, and love what they love no matter what other people think about it. This website, for me anyway, has been an ultimately empowering thing.