Pixel Vixens

I was thinking more about nude modeling today and why I like it so much. I hope I don't come off as creepy or weird to any of my models when they read this, but it's the truth! And I mean it only in the most complimentary and nicest way, not in any way shape or form do I mean it as anything else

I, like many of the models here, am bisexual. I have known from a very young age that women were by far more lovely than men, and I have always had an attraction to them - physically. But it is very difficult for me to find a woman I can stand to be around, because most of them are manipulative, obnoxious, overly competitive, and generally just don't share any of my interests. I've always have more male than female friends, although for the past couple years I've had really NO female friends. It's just kind of the way it worked out, plus I move around a lot and met many of my friends working at a video game publishing company, which isn't exactly the best place to meet chicks. In a lot of ways I have the same problems with women that most MALE nerds do.
My first modeling gig was for a cosplay site, and I met several of the girls who I still talk to today, and many of whom are on this site. From there I moved on to alt/tattooed/goth sites, and got the chance to meet many other cool women there. We were all creative and awesome, comfortable with ourselves (because this is where the real competitive nature of women comes from - being insecure), intelligent, fun, and sexy. I met a lot of really cool women from doing modeling, and even though most of them were in other states and we didn't get to hang out, it was still nice to know that not everyone with a vagina was horrible and that cool women actually existed. And let's face it, sometimes there are things that talking to your male friends about is going to be awkward, no matter how close you are with them.

While I say I'm an equally opportunity sexualist, I generally am open to whoever regardless of gender, there tends to be far fewer women with any long term potential for interest.

Then I started modeling and GeekGirlsOnline, and holy crap, the girls there were even cooler. Girls I genuinely would want to hang out with, girls who are sexy and awesome. Hooray! I am totally glad I got the chance to get into modeling, because there are so many neat people I wouldn't have had the chance to meet otherwise.

And there are just so many sexy wimmens on Pixel Vixens, it's ridiculous. The LA models I've gotten the chance to work with have all been a blast, and I've had a ton of fun being there for the photoshoots. And hell, you ladies are sexy (Again, I'm not a creep. But you can't blame me for getting a little bit turned out watching sexy ladies dressed up as characters that I've loved my whole life). That just means job well done, right?
Anyway. I'm totally gay for all you ladies. And I'm a hard woman to please, so you should all be proud.

Big cosplay pillowfight at my place!

Someone made a snarky comment to me recently to imply that I somehow should feel like less of a person because of who I am and the lifestyle I lead. While I can understand this sentiment, I felt like explaining why this is total bullshit.

I do not fit into the typical mold. I haven't ever, although I tried to when I was younger, and was extremely unhappy because of it. I never bought into the American dream, or religion, or abstinence, or any of the other BS that has been peddled to us since we were children. I am honestly a bit of a Hedonist, which usually carries a bit of negative connotation to it. But bottom line, life is short! I want to achieve any kind of happiness and pleasure I can while I'm here, and I want to do so based on my own terms. People of power have always tried to prevent others from participating in any activity that would bring them joy - The government, religion; they all stigmatize pleasure activities, sex is somehow evil, drugs that cause absolutely zero harm and potentially a lot of good are illegal while booze and cigarettes are perfectly fine and continue to kill thousands of people every year. We all have a predetermined ideal which we are to be, and anyone who strays from the norm is looked down upon as if they are the asshole.

I have suffered from both depression and schizophrenia since a very young age, and have been on a good 20 pills over the years to try to regulate myself. I am happy to say I haven't been on any drugs for a good 8 months and feel better than I have ever felt. You know why? Because I am doing things that make me happy and anyone who doesn't like it can go fuck themselves. Nude modeling is supposed to make me feel like less of a person somehow? I am some slut because I love myself, making art, sharing that with other people who love it? It's not and has never been about money, and it's only subtly about sex. Being naked is out natural state, and it's only through religious influences we've been conditioned to thinking our bodies and sex are somehow shameful things. They aren't. Sex is one of the greatest and simplest pleasures on the planet, and as long as you practice safely and with people you trust, then who really cares? I love my friends, and when used correctly, sex can GREATLY strengthen the bonds between you.

But beyond that, modeling has been awesome fun for me. I've gotten to meet so many interesting, wonderful, genuine people (all of you!). I've gotten to explore awesome places I never would have seen otherwise, to discuss politics and philosophy and psychology and religion with people who understand it, are open minded, and aren't just parroting what they have been told since they were children. I've learned, I've grown, I've made and been a part of art. I've gotten to help bring my nerd fantasies to life, and it's not shameful - It's awesome! There is nothing I would rather be doing. If it makes money, that's fine - But honestly almost all the money I've made modeling just goes right back into this site, and I don't even mind. It is it's own reward. How many people can say they do something that they wake up every day and are excited about? I don't know about you, but I don't want my life to revolve around some boring 9-5 job that I hate, waking up every day and doing the same thing and simply surviving. Life is about living. I want to have all the experiences possible while I'm still able. You never know what is going to happen - I make the most of what time I have. And now that I'm being true to myself, I am truly happy, and on zero pills. (Well, I do have my medical marijuana license, and I'll be goddamned if that isn't 100 times better than any manufactured crap they tried pumping into my system).

Now, we will all have a sexy cosplay love-in. It's so nice to be around other people that aren't full of shit, and love what they love no matter what other people think about it. This website, for me anyway, has been an ultimately empowering thing.

This post will be kind of self indulgent, but I feel the need to get this down while the experience is fresh. :) And one or two of you might enjoy reading it.

I love being a Domme. I have no interesting in domming people who are naturally submissive, however. There is no challenge in that for me. I don't want someone to come to me who already had the mindset that they are going to be my sub. I want someone who has been dominant all their lives, who has never had a woman take charge, to discipline them, to challenge them for dominancy. I love to have a man full of confidence, who is completely sure of himself and his position as the dominant sex, and to completely break him down and make him unsure of himself. I love to subtlety dominate them in front of their friends, who are unaware of going on, and watch him at a loss for how to act in the situation. For someone who always knows what to say, with the quickest wit, to be made speechless by me. To know that I am giving him something he has never known he always wanted. To constantly tease you until you think you can't take any more, then finally allow you to fuck me...but controlling your pleasure completely, making you reach orgasm on my command. Knowing that no matter who you fuck after me, I will always be the one you compare her to, and that you will never find someone who satisfies you like me again. Knowing that you are sitting at work, in your car, at lunch, thinking of fucking me. And that you will do anything to please me. That I am Mistress of psychology, I know everything you want, can read every bit of your body language, and how to use it to break you down until I own you completely. I love being constantly underestimated, getting under your skin slowly without you even realizing what I am doing. And by the time you do, it's too late anyway. I am very good at what I do...I only wish there were more people worthy of playing with.

Last night was the most fun I've had sexually in a long time. :) I very rarely find someone who presents any kind of resistance at all, and I highly enjoy the game. It makes me miss my last slave boys a bit...each one used to being alpha male in every situation, smart motherfuckers all. People who had never been in love, who had never been shown up or put in their place ever. And all it took me was a couple months at most. Too bad my last one was crazy...he could have potentially been a lot of fun.
I shall go masturbate now. Haha!

I'm still working on fixing up a couple of things (like the magazine) but everything is pretty much ready to go now. Send me a message if you encounter any bugs along the way, as you are basically our beta group. Everything should hopefully be working, though.

New set goes up Friday, I am shooting a couple new sets with new models on Saturday and Sunday also. And expecting a bunch of photoshoots from the girls over at GeekGirlsOnline.com

Head over to the forums or the community and hang out, let me know how we can improve the site, what characters you want to see, etc. And tell lots of people all about it! :D

That the site is nearly finished. The payment processor people should hopefully approve the site tomorrow, then there will be access to the galleries (and that's what you're really here for anyway, right?)

Anyone who is interested in putting something in the magazine let me know, I'm going to try to add a few things into there tomorrow

I have a bunch of photoshoots coming up, both girls for Pixel Vixens, and me shooting for other sites. 2010 will be awesome. IT WILL BE AWESOME.